Random Thoughts

What a year it has been.  We had a new baby in January and it just seems like the year sped by so fast after that.  Work was hectic with a lot of people moving on or being let go but we still needed to get the same amount of work done.  :(  My other children are getting older but it's still hard not to look at them like they are babies.  My oldest son turned 9 in November and my daughter is 7 (going on 17) and my other son is 4 so he can go to school next year!  It's amazing to think in a couple of years Lucas will be in middle school and Maria won't be far behind.  Kinda makes me feel old but I guess in a good way. 

I really hope that next year will be a great year.  I'm not one to make resolutions because I know myself and I can't stick to them but I'm gonna try anyway next year.  I want to be more patient because that is something I have a problem with.  I need to stop procrastinating about everything!  I do it with work, housework, just about everything really.  I want to be better about keeping up with friends and not just calling or emailing a couple of times a year.  That isn't always easy to do when you have as many small children as I do, but I want to work on it.

Most of all, I want to work on spending quality time with my family.  I mean, I'm with them all the time but sometimes just being there doesn't cut it.  Life is hard and trying to balance a home life with a job is frustrating.

If I don't write again before Christmas, I hope that everyone has a great one!  My folks will be here in a week and it will be so nice to spend time with them.  Que Dios te bendiga!  (God Bless you for the non Spanish speakers!) 

So...I've been listening to this soundtrack over and over again since I got it on Tuesday and I have to say I'm pretty happy with it. I'm normally not a soundtrack person but there were a couple of artists that I'm a fan of like Paramore and Linkin Park so I figured I would try it out.

Honestly I think I like every song on this album but I do have my favorites. Decode by Paramore and Full Moon by The Black Ghosts are awesome! I've liked Paramore for a long time now and Haley really has the chops to belt out those lyrics. Its a little Gothy (is that a word?) sounding but still pretty cool. Full Moon has the best bass line in a song I've heard in a long time. The album starts out great with Supermassive Black Hole by Muse. It's really catchy and I love to listen to it loud while I driving. :)

Rob Pattinson (Edward the Vampire ;) has a really unique voice and it sounds so haunting with just the guitar and the lyrics. I was kinda surprised since I didn't know he was a singer too. The Iron & Wine song and the instrumental called Bella's Lullaby ended the album on a slow note. I just hope that they make all songs fit with the scenes! I hate it when you are wondering "Why did they put that there?".

I have yet to read one book from the Twilight series. I just bought the first book the other day but it seems like a good storyline. If I believe my friend Haley, I will love all of them but I guess I'll see when I actually get around to reading it huh? ;)


Track Listing
1. Muse—"Supermassive Black Hole"
2. Paramore—"Decode"
3. The Black Ghosts—"Full Moon"
4. Linkin Park—"Leave Out All The Rest"
5. Mute Math—"Spotlight (Twilight Mix)"
6. Perry Farrell—"Go All The Way (Into The Twilight)"
7. Collective Soul—"Tremble For My Beloved"
8. Paramore—"I Caught Myself"
9. Blue Foundation—"Eyes On Fire"
10. Rob Pattinson—"Never Think"
11. Iron & Wine—"Flightless Bird, American Mouth"
12. Carter Burwell—"Bella's Lullaby"


I thought I would post the Decode video too....:)

Wow. I'm not sure what else to say after watching this video. How can anyone refuse to give care to a living breathing baby? How can a DOCTOR strangle a baby that had been born alive? How can Obama stand behind his decision not to give care to these precious infants? I'm kinda sick to my stomach right now. I'm sorry, I could care less about the health of the mother once that baby has parted with her body. If there is even a slim change that baby could be saved after an attempted abortion that should take precedent over anything else. May God forgive these men and women who participate in this. I thought that was part of the Hippocratic Oath all doctors have to profess is "Do No Harm". Just because a fetus (or infant once its outside of his mothers body) can't tell anyone "this hurts or it burns" that doesn't mean it can't feel just like you and me. Babies can hear and feel touch inside the womb, ask anyone that been pregnant before.

I'll admit it. Up until recently I've been a wimp as far as looking at pictures or watching videos like this because I was too afraid of what I would see. Well, it confirmed all of the horrible ideas I had running through my mind. I've been incredibly blessed to have my children. I don't understand why these women don't feel the same way about someone that is part of them. Even if there are horrible circumstances behind the pregnancy, that isn't the child's fault. There are so many women who would love to be able to carry a child of their own but can't and to see this....it just makes me wonder why these partial birth/late term abortions are still being allowed.

I would like to think that I don't have this problem but I know I'm guilty of it.  As I sit hear listening to my favorite Nickel Creek cd, I'm reminded of it.  A couple of years ago my husband wanted to give me a surprise because he knew I really liked them.  He does too but not as much as me.  Anyway, he camped out at House of Blues until their show was over so he could get one of their cd's signed for me.  I remember when he gave it to me he was so excited and I know I thanked him but looking back now, maybe I didn't appreciate it as much as I should have.  He wasted a couple of hours just hanging out (he didn't get tickets in time) until he got a chance to get their autograph.  Actually he did that another time as well with Norah Jones.  He is a little more into the whole autograph thing than me.  He'll put them in shadow boxes with the cd booklet and anything he has like a ticket stub or something that he's bought from the group.  I'm getting off the subject right?  Right.

So....I guess I'm posting this as a way to remind myself that sometimes thanking someone for something they have done for you isn't enough.  You should truly appreciate their actions and hopefully that will across to that person.  As my friends like to say, Monica you're not cold but....you aren't emotional or touchy feely either.  Well maybe not but that doesn't mean that I can't try and change my ways at the ripe old age of 31!  :)

Well....its not like we are going to go out and live it up today.  Times are rough and having 4 young children, its usually not easy to find a babysitter!  :)  I just want to reflect on the time we've spent together which is 10 years total.  10 years.  That is amazing to me!  If you asked me that when we were first dating if this is where I saw myself I would have said you were nuts!  Sure James was cute and all but I didn't know if we had what it took to stay together this long.  Sometimes I still don't but that is more of a idea in the back of my head when I am angry or annoyed at something more than anything.  I can't imagine my life without him now.  It has taken me a long time to admit this to myself but I truly and deeply love that man.  Why is that hard for me?  I'm too independent for my own good and that has always been a sore spot for my husband.  So much so that after all this time I still haven't changed my last name!  I just never thought that Monica Mills rolled off the tongue well but I think that I will change it within the next year or so.  I guess Monica Gamez-Mills wouldn't be too bad.  ;)

Marriage has changed me that's for sure.  It might not be obvious to anyone that has met me since I've been married but if you ask any of my old friends that knew me from before, I'm sure that they can agree.  I've always like to get my way but I'm much more open to compromise now.  That's what a good marriage is all about I think.  You can't be so intertwined that you can't tell one person from the other but you can't be so independent that bending a little isn't a option for you.  How boring would it be to with someone exactly like yourself 24/7?  On the other hand, who wants to fight and argue all the time?  Neither can be very fun. 

So I am going to take today to give thanks for all of the blessings I've had in my life so far, mainly finding a good man to share my life with and raise children together.  I've also made a pledge to myself to tell him more often that I love him since I've haven't always been good at that in the past.  Is my life perfect?  Far from it but my imperfect life will do me just fine! 

This is always the best time for me (I hate hot weather & crowds!) to visit the park.  That's what most people that have ever worked at Disney call any of the theme parks.  The particular park I visited last evening/night was Epcot and it was fun because I got to see some friends from out of town and also do the Food & Wine festival.  I usually try to go a couple of times while its going on so I'll probably be back soon.

So it was kinda funny to see my friends Sean and Haley, who don't have kids of their own, try to entertain mine until James could come and get them.  My children are very hyper and it was all they could do to help me keep track of them.  It was really busy last night (but the weather was beautiful!) so I was glad they could help me out.  James had to work but wanted me to enjoy some time with Haley since I only get to see her a couple times a year so he came when he was finished with his shift.

There were some interesting moments before he got there though....I was explaining to Haley that normally James would take off the night she's in town but he couldn't because of his "procedure" that was done on Monday and he had already taken his days off.  Then there goes my 8 year old blasting out "Oh you mean dad's vasectomy?".  I think we all about died right there!  It's not a secret or anything and if anyone knows Lucas you know that he is forever asking questions so we told him the truth of what happened.  I just didn't expect him to yell it out at a busy theme park!  James got a kick out of that when I told him about it.  :)

The food was tasty and so were the drinks we had.  I honestly don't like mojitos very much but the one I had in Puerto Rico was so good!  When I go back there, I will need to remember to hit that booth again.  Yep....that is on my list.

For those of you who haven't been to F&W, it's an event they have for about 6 weeks (it may be more this year) where the different lands in the World Showcase show off their country's delicacies along with a wine or alcoholic drink that best represent that culture.  They also have booths for countries that aren't normally there during the rest of the year like Poland, Greece, Spain or Ireland.  They have also been showcasing different states more recently.  This year it's Louisiana and let me tell the you, the crawfish etouffee was awesome!  :)

So I think I will go back on Tuesday and this time share it with James.  He is a foodie like I am and we always have fun trying new things.  Mmm...I can't wait to get some more chocolate creme brulee.  It's so creamy and good and you can't beat the bad attitude from the French IP kids when they hand you the plate.  Haha!  They can't help, its part of who they are. 

So my husband and I have have been talking a lot about the hot mess that has been going on in Orlando related to the whole Casey/Calyee Anthony case.

I'm glad she's been arrested!  I hope she stays in jail for the rest of her life.  If she doesn't know exactly what happened  to her daughter, she has a pretty good idea.  I also think that the grandmother knows something but doesn't want to admit that her daughter would be so callous and cold. 

I don't understand people.  Really I don't.  I mean, I have kids of my own and I don't understand how this chick could go over a month without knowing where in the hell her kid is!  And if the grandmother is anything like my mom (who lives out of state) she is calling everyday to see what is going on if she hasn't seen her grandchild.

What makes this woman think its okay to lead people on for months as evidence has been building up and stick to that lame ass story that some Hispanic woman took her and that's the last she has head of her girl?  Just about everything out of that woman's mouth has been a lie.  What's really sad is that she seems to do it so easily like she is really used to it. 

Well, that's my rant on this issue.  We will see how it plays out here in O-Town!

So I thought I would post this for some weird reason.  :)  Has anyone tried any of the new breakfast food at 'Bucks yet?  I haven't tried everything yet but I will say that the Berry Stella is delicious!  Its kinda like a soft granola bar but its not chewy.  It is so tasty I've gotten several this week alone.  I think I will try the oatmeal next since that's something I like to eat anyway and I'm curious to see what their version tastes like.

Starbucks Adds 'Healthy' Breakfast Items - WalletPop

 

PS: This is completely unrelated but tonight is the Colts first game of the season!  I can't wait to see how the team has pulled together after some changes in the off season.  Heck, I'm just excited that the football season is here period.  Go Colts!

Lately I've been thinking that I should get a new job.  Not that I don't like the one I have or anything.  My job right now is pretty good actually.  I'm in "the zone" so to speak as far as my comfort level in what I do.  It's just getting to be to be a burden trying to balance my home life and work life.  I'll try to explain what I mean.

First off....I drive quite a bit to my job.  Its about 27 miles each way and driving on I-4 in Orlando pretty much blows.  It has gotten a little bit better now that some of the projects downtown are finishing up but there are still a ton of people on the road everyday.  I'm still nursing my youngest so I need to get up early enough to feed him, take a shower and get ready and then head out.  Oh....something I didn't mention.  I have to leave work by 3 each day to meet my hubby at his job since he starts at 4.  While its nice to be able to have a job where they can accommodate my hours it also means I need to wake up at 4:30 every morning to make sure I have enough time to do what I need to do before I leave at 6.  :(  We have been able to work from home on and off for the past 6 months or so but even that can have its downside.  My baby knows I'm home so he wants me to pay attention to him.  That can make it very hard to work and stay focused on what it is I'm doing. 

I need to find something that is closer to where I live.  This idea has been rolling around in my head for a long time so I think its time I brushed off and updated my resume and get myself out there.  I don't make bad money but I hope I could find something that pays more than what I make now.  But I also have to be realistic.  Time are rough and this economy isn't that hot, especially down here.  So even if I start looking soon, I might not be able to find something that would be a good fit for me until after the new year anyway.

I don't know....that's just kind of where I am right now.  I also need to find a way to get more time in with my family.  My girlfriend and I were talking about this subject the other day.  Does more money really matter if you are lacking quality time with your family?  I don't think it is.  There are plenty of things I need to work on and that should probably be a main focus for me and us as a family.  I don't want to tell my kids all the time that I can't do something because I'm working or I'm tired and grumpy because I haven't had enough sleep.

Hmm....I have a lot to think about over the weekend, that's for sure!  :)

James is on vacation this weekend with his folks visiting family in Illinois and Wisconsin.  We haven't been able to visit his family as much as we would like, even when we were closer and lived in Indy so he likes to go when he can.  I think he really went to see how his Grandma is doing.  The last time I saw her was around Christmastime and her health had declined sharply.  God love her, she has been through a lot in her life.  She has outlived 2 husbands and more recently has battled breast cancer.  She also has other health issue like dementia and breathing problems which have become more pronounced in the last year or so.  She is a Florida snowbird and usually stays with James' Aunt Sue during the warmer months in Wisconsin and then comes back to Florida around Labor Day and splits her time between my in-laws and James' other aunt outside of Tampa.  James saw her today and he's pretty sure that she won't be coming back down this year and he isn't sure that she will be with us after the new year. 

I feel so bad for him because he is so attached to his family.  Or his immediate family I should say.  When his Uncle George passed away 4 years ago, he was devastated.  He still doesn't like to talk about it.  He went to the cemetery today visit his gravestone and that is when he said that he doesn't think she'll be here very much longer.  He went to visit her in the nursing home she is in and was very bothered by it.  I guess at this point, its too hard to deal with her care so that is the decision the sisters made.  I wish I could be with him up there but it just wasn't possible with the kids going back to school this week.

So I told him that all we can do is pray for her and her health and that she doesn't suffer while she is here on earth.  He said that she has gotten so frail in the past several months, he could probably pick her up with one arm.  He told me he doesn't want to take any pictures of her like that but I told him that he should to have them.

While its a sad situation, I can only hope that what ever pain and discomfort she is feeling is brief and fleeting.  She is a woman of faith so I'm sure she will be in a better place when her time comes.

I am so excited that the football season is only a month away.  Pretty soon I'll be able to watch the pre-season games and that will help get me back into the swing of things for the the fall.  Or what we have of the fall down in Florida.

Being from Indy, I am of course a huge Colts fan.  I'm a little worried about the surgery that Peyton recently had on his knee but if he has to miss some games while he is recovering, I'm sure we'll be okay.  While winning a lot of games is nice, its being able to go to the Big Dance which concerns me more.

I'm a little sad by what is happening in Green Bay with Favre.  I always liked him and was sad to see him go when he retired but he played for a long time so I thought that was probably his best course of action.  Now with all of this drama that's going on, I wonder if he should have kept quiet about retiring until he was for sure ready to hang up the cleats.  I'm not sure how I would feel about him playing for another team.  And and I'm sure the Packer fans would freak out if he did decide to do that.  I think his best bet is to take the deal the Packers are offering him of being paid NOT to play so he'll always be remembered as a Packer.

Oh...I also wonder how Eli Manning will do this year after ending his season on such a high.  Obviously it proves to the Giants fans that you can have a crappy start to the season but still end up with the Lombardi trophy.  I'll be keeping my eye on them!  :)

I don't think I can say this enough.  I'm glad the football season is starting soon!  Yeah!

So the past couple of weeks have been filled with uncertainty about who is staying and who might be going where I work.  I highly doubt anyone will be fired but I'm sure they are looking to push people into different departments.  We've recently had a new type of program roll out at work that is helping to automate our jobs.  Good as far as saving money goes.  Bad as far as job security goes.  :(

I've been speaking to one of my good friends about this for the past couple of weeks.  His job is in the air too so we talk about it whenever we hear something.  As much as I like my job, I'm not married to the idea of doing the same thing forever.  I wouldn't mind moving into a different department but I have a pretty narrow window of when I can work full time.  My husband works around 4 in the afternoon so I would need to find something where I could leave at 3 like I'm currently doing.  Worse case scenario, I think we would be okay if stopped working there and found a part time gig closer to my neighborhood.  Currently I drive about 60 miles a day to commute to my job.  Ouch!  That sucked even when gas prices  weren't as high as they are today.  I could live without that hot mess everyday.  If anyone has lived in Orlando and has had to use I-4 to get around, I know you can feel my pain!

My husband and I were also talking about it today.  He said that he might look to get a second job and just have me stay at home.  I've never been a stay at home mom before but I'm sure that I could adjust to it.  He makes a bulk of the income now anyway and also carries our health insurance so that makes the most sense.

I don't know....I don't want to think about it too much but I have to be realistic about it and weigh all of the options.  We should be hearing more about it in the next couple of weeks so I guess I'll have an idea soon. 

Ay Dios mio!  Now back to dealing with my slightly crazy children.  :)

Well, this doesn't effect me as much as it does some of my friends like Small Coffey...

It was announced yesterday that Pleasure Island at Downtown Disney after almost 20 years. While I wasn't a regular visitor there, it was one of the places I used to hang out when I first moved down to Orlando and started to work at Disney. After I got together with my future husband, those visits stopped since he didn't like it and he didn't like me to go either. My friend sent me a funny picture from when PI was launched. Tell me this isn't hilarious? The girl in the front of the picture is rocking out her late 80's attire! :)

I haven't updated in awhile....

I've done a few things in the past couple of weeks since I've been back from Indy. I did get my hair cut! Yeah! I got rid of almost 14 inches of hair so I can donate it to Locks of Love. Hopefully someone will be able to use it.

Can I say that I'm really bummed that this chain hasn't made it down to Florida yet? I love the stuff there. A lot of the food is really tasty and pretty cheap too. I know we have Whole Foods and all but its just not the same. I really have a weakness for their chocolate truffles! I even had one of our friends ship me some from Cali since he works at a TJ's out there. Pretty sad huh? But they are SO good and are only like $4 for a box of them. If I tried to get something like that at a gourmet chocolate shop I'm sure they would be twice as much. :(

So...I will try and hit them up before I leave to snag some of my favorites for the road. Mmmm....truffles. :)

I'm glad I drove up to Indy when I did because otherwise I would have been stuck in southern IN after I-65 was shut down today. That's so crazy that they had to shut down a highway due to flooding but it was storming pretty bad on Friday night early into Saturday. Another wave of storms came through Saturday afternoon. Luckily my folks live in the city and that hasn't been to too hard hit at this point. If it keeps raining though, that might change. I just hope that everything is fine and ready to go by the time I head back out on Thursday. As much as I love my hometown and all.....I have things to do once I'm back in Central FL so I can't be stuck in the midwest due to flooding. :(

Hoping it stays dry for the rest of the week!

Well maybe awareness isn't the right word but I'm not trying too look too deep into it this late at night! :)

On our drive up from O-Town to Indy, my oldest Lucas was in fine form asking it seemed like 100 questions. He has ADHD so its not like they are in any form that makes sense either. They bounced from one subject to another. Anyhoo....the topic of music came up because he asked who I was listening to on the radio. I'm pretty sure that I was listening to Mana which is my favorite Mexican rock band. He then started to ask me what they were saying because he doesn't understand Spanish. (I really should be trying to get to him to learn it but I'll admit that I'm not the best at teaching anything.) I told him for the most part songs are stories that people sing. That concept doesn't quite make sense to an 8 year old but he was trying to understand. Of course it probably didn't help that the particular subject of the song I was listening to was about some chick that has 2 men in her life. Does that make much sense to anyone?

I told him that James and I like a lot of the same music but we don't like all of the same stuff. How boring would that be? I'm always making cracks on his heavy/death metal or the fact that he likes Jewel. I'm sorry...I know she's real musician and all but I can't get over her "summer teeth" and the yodeling. Both may be appealing to some but its just kinda annoying to me. His taste in music is all over the place. On the flip side, I know that he doesn't that I listen to rap and R&B. He doesn't get music like that. So we agree to disagree about some things. I just hope our kids grow up and have their own take on music and what sounds good to them.

I remember watching my first video around the same time MTV was first launched. I guess I was around 4 or so and I spent most of the 80's watching MTV a lot. VH1 wasn't cool then so I can't say I watched it much then but now I prefer that over MTV. Being exposed to so much music that early was a great way to figure out what was I liked. That got me to thinking that Lucas is almost at that age where he can learn to play an instrument if he wants to. We have another year to wait though. :P

Can I just say that I hope none of them is big on bubblegum pop? There is a band or group for every generation so I know it will be around as they get older but I can only take so much of that crap.

Okay...I should probably go to bed or something. Its a nasty night out in Nap Town. Just way too muggy for my liking. Yuck!

But I thought I would post it on a seperate entry. My "Mufasa" as I lovingly call my hair, will be gone when I head up north. James keeps threatening divorce if I hack it off but oh well. He doesn't have to deal with it everyday and I have gotten to the point of no return. Long hair is nice and all but at my age, I just have to give up the ghost. I don't want to have super short hair because honestly, it doesn't look that good on me but I want a good 10 or 12 inches gone.

I'm going to take before and after shots so that should be fun. I don't think I'm going to color it because I'm not one for high maintenance on my hair. I'm more of a wash and go type of girl. I own a hair dryer and curling iron but I don't think I've used either of them this year. And its what June? Yeah...I just want a nice cut that I can also pull back if I need to.

Oh for the people that don't know. My hair is at the top of my butt right now. I don't think I've ever had it that long. It grew like crazy when I was preggers and I just got lazy and let it keep growing.

Alright...I guess I will sign off but hopefully I will be posting new pics soon!

So...I'm not going to go to Texas to visit my family like I wanted to. Kinda sucks considering now would be a good time to catch up with my family. My cousin Alex died a couple of weeks ago in a bad car crash and neither my mom or myself could go to the funeral. Its just hard being down in Florida and then driving up to Indy to get my mom, driving back down to Texas and then doing the whole thing in reverse. I like to drive but not that much. Plus with the cost of gas these days its tough on the budget.

I decided to go Indy instead for my vacation. I was planning on going in August anyway but I figured I might as well and go now. Plus I get to visit with my friends who I haven't seen since I was there last August! It should be a good time. My friend Mark is having a birthday party for his boyfriend so I'm looking forward to going to that on Saturday. Then there are all of my girlfriends I always see. Actually, it will be kinda weird going back because it will be the year anniversary of my friend Tammy's death. I can't believe it went by so fast. I didn't get to go to her funeral either. :(

Hopefully it won't be that somber when I'm there. My friend Erin recently had a baby and my other friend Carrie is due soon. There are babies all over the place!

I hope to post some while I'm up there. I got a laptop the other day and I hope to post some pics of what's going on. Now if I just remember to take my camera....:p Actually I will because I was thinking today that I don't have many pictures of my friends. I'm not a big picture taker but I guess I have to break down and do it at some point!

I've already talked about this today with a couple of friends of mine but I'm still not too happy about it so I thought I would write about it.

So I'm doing the whole nursing thing with Ethan which is cool and all but its when I'm at work, that is where I've run into problems lately. In the past week or so, the mothers room we have went from being open all the time to being locked for "security reasons". Whatever! Yes, there are other tenants on the 2nd floor but really....who wants to steal a couple of raggedy chairs and an old nasty wool blanket? Not me and I'm sure no one else wants that crap either.

Now we have to call someone in another dept so they can open up the door to let us in. (I think there aren't even a handful of women doing this there I work.) Normally this isn't that bad because I call when the urge hits me and I usually find someone. Well, this week I'm in training (the joy that is!) and I can only do what I need to do during lunch. I came back from lunch with about 20 mins or so which is enough time so I called....but got no one. Evidently everyone else was at lunch too so I was outta gas. I kid you not, I called 5 people and I couldn't reach anyone. At this point, its too late for me to do anything so I emailed my supervisor to see if there is a solution we can come up with so that this doesn't happen again. He in turn sent a email to someone else to see what could be done but basically the answer I got was that the process won't change and I need to call someone in that dept to unlock the door for me every time. This wouldn't be too terribly bad if they weren't almost all men! Do they really need to know my business? As a matter of fact, does ANYONE need to know my business? I should be able to go down there as needed without all of this hassle.

My supervisor (God love him!) is going to see if maybe they can put a key down in the HR office so we can use it when we need to but no bother anyone. That sounds like a great idea to me but its not up to me. :(

Okie dokie....I've vented enough about this. I'll let it go and pray that tomorrow will be a better day and less frustrating!

God knows I love that man. After almost 10 years and 4 kids I've learned to accept his quirks just like he has done with me. But.....he has the most annoying jealous streak that can get a little outta control. It doesn't have so much to do with the idea that I'm cheating on him. He knows that would never happen. I respect myself and him too much to do that. His problem is that he is jealous of my time. What do I mean by that? He basically wants me to spend all of my time outside of work with him. Normally that's just what I do but sometimes I need time for myself. Wasn't I just blogging about that in a prior post? Anyhoo...it drives me crazy. The reason I'm even talking about it is that last night I was hanging with Sean (twice in a week is more than usual) and he called or texted me about 20 times in 5 mins. If I haven't answered you by the second or third call, it ain't gonna happen. The more he does it, it pisses me off which really makes me not wanna talk to him. So I decided to call our night short and headed to mi casa. On the way I had a "talk" with him to explain to him that I'm not a child and I don't appreciate being treated like one. The couple of hours I spend outside of my house isn't a crime. I'm not cheating on him or even entertaining those thoughts. Its when he's irrational like that, it makes me call him by my favorite nickname for him. Jackass! Boy does that suit him to a tee when he gets all pissy. Oh, another recent favorite is Douchebag. What makes it even more funny is that is what he calls people he can't stand.

Okay....there wasn't much to this other than my ranting. I feel better now! :) I'm so glad this week is almost over. The only thing is that gets me closer to my sisters bday. She would have been 33 on Monday. I can't believe its been 17 years since she passed away. She was born on Cinco de Mayo but I've never really celebrated that even though I'm Mexican. It just makes be think of her and bums me out. I would have loved to have her in my life as an adult but everything happens for a reason.

Te amo hermana! Te estrano y espero que me visitas en mis suenos! :)

So I was out again tonight with my good friend Sean aka Small Coffey. To the people that don't know him, he's maybe 105 pounds on a good day and 5'6 so the moniker of Small Coffey fits him to a tee! :) We've been hanging out a lot since he's gone to days and our schedules are are now basically the same. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed his company since we weren't hanging out as much but its all coming back to me now....!

See my problem is that being married with 4 small children doesn't give me much time to myself. Just spending a couple of hours a week without my family is a good way to get rid of stress. Well, what stress I do have. I'm the type of person not to hold things in or to dwell on them too long because life is too short for all that so I don't stress out too often. But.....sometimes, you just need to chill with a friend over good food or maybe a good drink (don't tell James!) and let what stress you do have fly out the window.

We spent a fun night talking about my in-laws and whatever happened since the last time we saw each other. We've been friends so long that we can finish each other sentences, break out into song at the same time and know what the other person might be thinking. I think its great to have friends like that and I've had the pleasure of having several of them throughout my crazy life. Girls....you know who are! Jenni, Haley, Heather, Eva, Justine, Annie.....I have more but its late and I'm tired! :) But really.....I'm lucky to have solid friendships like that. You can never underestimate how much your friends effect you. If you are having a rough day, you know that you always have someone in your corner to talk to and hear you out. If I didn't have my friends, I'm sure I would be a more bitter and sour person.

So what's the point of this post? Dunno know....just wanted to say that I'm glad I have these people in my life that I trust and view as true friends. They are my sanity!

Okie dokie....its late and my tired behind should get to bed!

Do you have days when you just feel kinda old? It probably has a lot to do with the fact that I've been up since the break of dawn....actually earlier than that. My little man woke me up at 3:45am and I've been up ever since. I did have my fabulous white mocha from 'Bucks this morning (I don't even want to think how much fat & calories I consumed!) but even that didn't keep me awake. When I feel tired like I did most of the day today, it makes me feel older than 31. 31 isn't really old but I can certainly tell my body doesn't bounce back from lacking sleep like it used to.

I remember the days I would wait up early (for me anyway!) around 7 and go to work then hang out with my friends later. I could be up until 2 or 3 in the morning and still be good to go for the next work day. Now?!? Forget about it! I can't imagine but then again, I've had kids so maybe that's what is working against me the most. :)

Alright....I guess I should go to bed huh? Sorry....just let out a big yawn! :)

I seriously need to make more time for my family. It just seems so hard with James and I working opposite schedules (saves $$ in daycare though!) to get any real quality time together. Its not like I'm the most emotional or touchy feely type person but it does make me sad that we're not all together very often. The rare moments we are all at home at the same time, we are either helping the kids with their homework or one of us is trying to catch up on sleep.

That's why I think this summer vacation is important. Hopefully, we can get something worked out in the next couple of weeks. My mom doesn't think she can come down at the end of May like I had hoped so our Texas trip might be out. But....I was thinking maybe we can stay in state this year and take the kids down to the Keys. They love the beach (isn't it a shame I've never taken them to the beach in FL?) and I'm sure we can find lots of things for them to do. It will just be nice being able to relax and not worry about going to work or keeping up on the computer. I still haven't broken down and bought a laptop yet so we will be Internet free for over a week! Lucas is gonna have a cow because I swear he is addicted to it, which is a shame since he's only 8 years old!

Just another random post about me talking about my family. I hope that soon we will be on a better schedule. With Ethan just being a couple months old though, I'm not sure when that will be!

It's late, I should already be asleep! Buenas noches!

I finally got around to seeing that cute movie Juno. I swear I could put that Michael Cera kid aka Paulie Bleeker in my pocket. He's just adorable in a geeky kinda way. I'm gonna buy that movie when it comes out. I already bought the soundtrack. The songs are quirky but it works with the movie. Ellen Page did a great job as a smart ass kid. I've read some reviews about her character not being believable but I knew kids like that in HS. I love that song they do at the end of the movie Off key but its so sweet and had a realness about it. :)

That Kimya Dawson chick kinda reminds me of me. Her songs seem like they were written at random intervals of her life like my blog notes. No real rhyme or reason to them but they get her point across!

Alright, I guess that is it for tonight.

Isn't he cute? My little man is cute in his bunny ears. :)



I haven't blogged in month so I thought I would write a little update to what's been going on with me.

Well, I'm back to work. :( This is actually my 4th week back. Kinda sucks trying to juggle my home life with work but it has to be done until my husband makes enough dinero to keep my big behind home or we win the lottery or something. Since neither of those things will probably be happening in the near future, I'll be working.

The beginning part of last month was a bummer with my friend Steve's passing but it ended well. James and I both had our birthdays in March. Actually I have a ton of friends with March birthdays for some weird reason but I digress....James is the ripe old age of 36 and I'm now 31. I can't believe time has gone by so fast for the both of us. It seems just like yesterday that I met James at Disney and I turned 21 and it was finally legal for me to drink. That makes me recall my big night out at Jungle Jim's here in O-town. Doh! I'm really glad we sat outside and that there were bushes out there so I could yak. :P Gross I know but isn't that what being 21 is all about? After getting with James (which will be 10 years in August), I didn't do that anymore. He's not a big fan of alcohol but now he's a bartender. How funny is that?

Anywhoo....so what was I talking about again? Age? Yeah, I guess that's it. I was looking at my Myspace page today and checking out my cousins profiles. Man, that's so crazy! I can't believe their all grown up with families of their own. I still picture them as 7 or 10 year olds just doing kids stuff, not having kids. I haven't been able to see any of them in 9 years. The last time I went to see them in Texas, I was preggers with Lucas which was 1999.

So why am I talking about that? I decided that I will make a trip to good old Texas this year! I keep talking about it with James because I really want the kids to know my mothers side of the family. I want to go when the kids are done with school and we'll drive over there. Yes, the cost of gas is ridiculous but I was just checking out flights and that's almost twice the cost of renting a van and then we would still need to rent a van while we are there. As much as I hate to rent a van, I'm don't think our van will make it and I'm not ready to buy a new one yet. I think the kids will like the drive on I-10 and being able to see the Gulf Coast. If we can work it out, my momma will be coming with us so she can see my aunts. Hopefully I'll know more about everything in the next couple of weeks. Before you know it, June will be here!

I'll try and update this thing more often and post more pics of the kiddies. We got a new camera and maybe I'll start using it!

Later

UGG!

I can't believe that I only have a couple more days of my leave left. Well, James would love it if I could stay home another week. I'm not sure if its just for the pleasure of my company or if he just want the help with the baby. ;) I have the feeling that he will have it a little rough at first because Ethan loves to be held.

Actually this entire year has gone by pretty fast. My 31st birthday will here in 11 days. I'm getting to be old! Well, not really but isn't that what most people think when they are younger? I don't really feel any older than I did when I was 21 (except for being a lot more outta shape!). Maybe its just me, but after I hit 25 time has flown by. Its crazy that Lucas will be 9 this year. I remember bring him home from the hospital like it was yesterday.

Alright....enough from me tonight! I'm sure I'll have more things to say this week though. :)

This is a topic that I've thought a lot about lately. I think mostly because I never seem to have the time to contact my friends on a regular basis so it makes me feel like a bad friend. Does anyone else struggle with this? There are people that I still consider a friend even if I haven't spoken to them in years. Its just hard when you change jobs or move because you lose touch.

I'm a big "out of sight, out of mind" type person. That has become more noticible in the past 6 weeks that I've been home on maternity leave. It almost feels like I've lost myself in my family. I mean, I do email or call my friends but not on a regular basis like I normally would. This could have to do with the new baby but I'm not sure if I can say that is the entire reason.

So why am I talking about this? Well, I found out today that an old friend of mine died suddenly yesterday. I hadn't talked to him in years but that didn't make him any less my friend. He was a great funny guy and he will be missed by all that knew him. You just never expect that call telling you that a friend has passed away.

Maybe I'm thinking about this too much but its just weird how life is. I actually started this post several days ago but hadn't gotten around to finishing it until today. Then this happens with Steve and kinda relates to this. Hopefully it won't take another death or problem to make me think about this issue again. :'(